INFJs are the not so classic hopeful romantic, but don’t ever let them hear you say that. Skeptical about love, these soul readers are cautious about who they open up to. They have so much love to give but are often late bloomers in the love department due to their ideals about how and who they love.
Let’s explore 4 reasons why INFJs have trouble finding love.
1. There is no middle ground.
For the INFJ there is only complete and utter devotion or nonexistence. Many relationships cannot withstand the INFJs intensity and mistake them for being controlling. However the INFJ really values freedom and solitude above all else. The fact that they even want to spend time together speaks volumes about their comfort level towards you. You can do nothing more to offend an INFJ than accuse them of obsession…let’s be real, they may be a little obsessed, but it’s only because their primary language is love, they can’t help themselves.
2. They have high expectations.
INFJs wouldn’t give a second thought about giving you everything. The downfall of the INFJ is that they think that people are as thoughtful as them. It’s second nature for them to think of pleasing the people they care about. They are often bewildered when they have to explain to others how to show thoughtfulness. This can come across as being overly critical and demanding. It is difficult for them understand any other way. If you say you love someone you treat them right…right? This unmet need can leave them feeling hurt and confused.
3. They love hard.
For the INFJ it’s not necessarily about the length of time you’ve been together but about the connection you’ve developed. Because of this they can love someone they’ve known for 6 months with the same intensity as someone they’ve known for 6 years. They value comfort, connection, and the ability to be themselves. If you can provide these with genuine caring then you will most likely win the INFJ love.
4. They will love you but never speak to you again.
No one shuts down harder than the INFJ. They will forgive you multiple times, they will give you the benefit of the doubt, you may have even used and abused the INFJ. Rest assured when they are done they will zone you out at their leisure. Because they are lovers it’s unlikely that they will forget their love for you quickly …if ever. However don’t be fooled you will experience the blank INFJ stare and indifference that’s colder than any Canadian winter.
What is your verdict on the INFJ? Terrific or Terror?
Don’t let these quirks deter you from finding your INFJ love. They are some of the most loyal, intuitive, devoted yet self sustained people you will ever meet.Don’t be intimidated by their intensity but get curious about it.
Do you know an INFJ? Or are you an INFJ? Don’t know? Find out more about your personality type by doing this simplified personality test.