You never thought life would’ve taken you in this direction.
You always thought you were a smart girl with a head on your shoulder.
Sure, you love to have fun. Dance a little, shake your hips. Even get wild, but you’ve mostly been a responsible, multifaceted woman.
You were naive. Maybe you got into a relationship that you thought was love. Maybe you derailed your whole life in pursuit of it. Now it’s left you battered, broken, and just a shell of a person you once were.
Maybe you were blindsided by sickness or disability that’s left you much more than physically limited. It’s left you with the tauntings of depression and the incessant chatter of anxiety. You’ve become socially awkward, obsessive, and on the brink of a mental breakdown.
You got in too deep. You started looking to love, sex, food, sugar, cutting, attention, likes- anything to make you feel alive.
It’s brought you to a place where you feel stuck. You didn’t plan on being here. You wish life would fast forward so you could see your future self.
But, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Everything good and bad that’s happened has created the person you are in this moment.
Yes, it might have been the difficult way.
Yes, you’ve made mistakes, but have also gained blessings along the way.
Everything you’ve been through wasn’t fair. You’re still here because you’re a fighter. You have resilience, a skill that’s needed in the world.
The thing is, you want everything to fall into place right now.
You’re stuck in a defeated mindset. You’re thinking about the things that could have happened. You think you’re too broken, too sick, too damaged, and too far gone to achieve your version of success.
The problem is, you’re stuck in the past. You’re thinking about what could have happened instead of focusing on little changes you can make right now to create the life you want.
How to play catch-up.
To change everything, to get exactly where you want to be in life, to make up for lost time…
You first need to decide.
Your brain believes what you repeatedly tell it. It will look for opportunities to accept or challenge your core thoughts.
Take control of the narrative by sticking to the script. No matter what happens, no matter how temporarily defeated you might feel, tell your brain the same story. You need to decide what kind of life you want and don’t look back.
The only way out is through- Robert Frost
The truth is, you can’t be trusted. Not your old thoughts, anyway. You will self-sabotage.
Creating rules will help you get ahead, maybe even further than you’d ever imagined. Take the guesswork out of how to recreate your life.
If you want financial freedom, your rule might be that you don’t spend more than you make.
If you want more self-esteem, your rule might be, that you surround yourself with people who uplift you, not make you feel defeated-including friends and family.
If you know you easily get attached to men, your rule might be, that you won’t sleep with them or put yourself in a position to do so until you explore their character.
If you want to get ahead in your creative art, your rule might be that you remain consistent in producing your work. It can be once a month to several times a week.
I know, it sounds simple in theory, you’re prone to old habits, and may slip up on a rule or two, heck maybe even three. The key is not to beat yourself up. The key is training yourself to get back up, to keep moving ahead. With time, this becomes easier.
You may not have the skills and support to get where you want to be, but skills can be learned. You need an unwavering mindset with your vision constantly in mind.
Somebody has already created your vision board.
How do you keep your vision in mind? Of course, there are the conventional ways like journaling, vision boards, and affirming words.
Though, to have a cutting edge, ideally, you need a mentor. You need reminders of someone who has already been there, done it, and made it through on top. You’re not trying to be that person but it’s a reminder that your dreams aren’t delusional or far-fetched. Find someone who is compassionate, not who leaves you triggered, and explore their story. Keep moving forward to your new start.
A new start
You feel like you’re behind when in fact, you’re right where you’re supposed to be. You’ve learned lessons, you’ve become the person you are today. You continue to embody your future self by making small decisions towards it. Don’t expect to get it right immediately. If you stumble, take notes and get back up, but the first step in catching-up in life when you feel behind is to decide to.
What do you need to decide? I’d love to hear from you.
Originally published on Medium